Funny love quotes For Him Or Her

Funny love quotes For Him Or Her

Funny love quotes For Him Or Her

Love is beautiful and fulfilling, but it is also funny, offering some of the most amusing moments in our life. Nothing is the same without some fun and laughter, not even love. Smiling and laughing is the best way to chase away stress, and enjoying the rest of the day in a good mood. If you want to say something lovely but fun at the same time, here are some funny love quotes that will help you on this task. Read them and start having a great day with the person you love by surprising them with one, or even several.

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” (Will Ferrell)

 

This quote makes reference to really pissing someone off, just to see if you can handle that. There is nothing more frustrating that slow Internet, so this might just work.

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” (Rita Rudner)

It is quite convenient to be married. Once you are with someone for the rest of your life, sex, annoyance, task splitting, everything gets solved fast and easy, with zero effort.

“Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” (Jerry Seinfeld)

Yes, women these days are harder and harder to satisfy. Being a husband is the hardest job out there, because you have to wait for years, in which you do your best, to get a promotion to being a good husband.

“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” (George Burns)

Love completely changes a person, like he or she is ill. But, the bad part is that it cannot be located and treated, although everybody knows it is there. So you’ll just have to live with it.

“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” (Woody Allen)

Well, what can we say, sex is among the primordial needs of a human, so it is quite hard to ignore. Also, you should definitely try the person out to see if he or she is up to your standards, just in case it gets serious.

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” (Chris Rock)

There is absolutely no reason for men to complain about getting married. As you can see, it is not that hard to keep a woman happy, especially if you keep in mind her basic needs. This is why these funny love quotes are here.

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. (Oscar Wilde)

Don’t waste your time trying to understand a woman, because you will never succeed. Just take her as she is and love her, if she managed to stir such feelings inside you. Is the best way to go.

It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. (Lucille Ball)

Love at first sight does not exist. It takes a while to realize what is happening to you, because your brain has to recover from the shock. Nobody seems to remember the recovery period.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. (Albert Einstein)

Yes, you cannot blame gravitation for love. The laws of physics have nothing to do with love, an occurring that seems not to respect any laws or rules.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. (Charles Schulz)

For people that are in love, life is already quite sweet. But, we cannot deny the benefits chocolate brings all of us. So, for the sake of old times, when we didn’t know what love is, we can enjoy a bit of chocolate now and then.

Love, I’ve come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. (Nicholas Sparks)

“I love you” is written almost everywhere you look, so it becomes as common as “good morning” or “good evening”. Still, when the right person comes along, we end up understanding the meaning of these words.

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. (Unknown)

Love is strange, as it makes us immune to things that would normally make us mad. We seem to close our eyes and do what needs to be done, without taking everything too personal.

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. (Franklin P. Jones)

When we love and are loved, it doesn’t matter where we go and what we do, because it will be an unforgettable journey.

“Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.” (Miss Piggy)

Yes, time heals all wounds, regardless if it is about your heart or his limbs. Of course, it is never recommended to be this violent.

“My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” (Ray Romano)

Love is strange, as it seems not to treat everybody equally. The women get all the funds, while men receive small attentions for their service.

All these funny love quotes should be taken as they are. They are meant to make you smile and brighten your day. We did not want to instigate anyone to violence or push them to having sex with a lot of unknown persons. You should enjoy your love with the person that is your other half, without forgetting to smile now and then. If you haven’t found love, don’t panic, because there is someone there for you as well. No, your other half has not been run by a truck, although it is hard to explain the apparent delay. We are positive that he or she will eventually show, so just have a bit of patience and enjoy your life until then.

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